Sometimes we can think that God has abandoned us. Despite our attempts to draw closer to Him, there are moments of emptiness, as if He no longer listens to our prayers. For believers, this may be a common occurrence. You wake up one morning to find yourself standing in the darkness, searching for signs of God. Yet, no matter how hard you pray or how much faith you have, there seems to be nothing there.
You feel abandoned and rejected, like He's just not listening. Your prayers seem to echo off the walls of a vast cavern that never ends. You want to believe that God is still there, but you can't shake the feeling that He's not listening - a little dramatic, but you get the point.
You are not alone!
King David would know these feelings. The Bible says he deeply desired to see God's glory. Yet, in Psalms 13:1-6, King David is in a battle for his faith and is overwhelmed by fear because the enemy is breaching the walls of his heart and mind. He is so consumed with grief that he's paralyzed with fear. This king knows what it's like to drown in his sorrows, worries, and frustrations.
But David calls out to God through his feelings of despair and isolation. "How long, Lord?" By this, you can almost feel and hear the heart of David's plea. A plea that didn't consist of words alone but a soul pouring itself out to God. Will you forget me? Will you hide your face from me? Must I struggle in my soul and heart, and will my enemy defeat me?
The word "how long" is mentioned four times in this chapter.
How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever?
How long will you hide your face from me?
How long must I struggle in my soul and sorrow in my heart?
How long will my enemy rise up against me?
David was consumed with grief, submerged with impatience and frustration. He seems to lash out at God; LOOK AT ME! ANSWER ME! A sense of disrespect? Would a son or daughter lash out at their father, and scream, LOOK AT ME! Or ANSWER ME! And expect the father to listen without prejudice? Or was his call to God of reverence, honor, and trust? Regardless of his choice of words or his demeanor in which he called to God. God only knows the intent of his heart, but from the passage, we do know - David's heart was crying out to God.
What we also know about David, he trusted God. He used the words "how long." This statement does not necessarily mean a loss of faith or trust, nor does it imply to question the existence of God - but how long before you hear my prayer. He knew God would answer, but when would he respond? For him, it was as if he was adrift aboard a sinking ship, miles from shore and not a lighthouse in sight; his only thoughts - time is fleeting; my life will sink before I am rescued.
But God never left David, throughout his life as a young boy, as a ruling King, and as an aging man - God was with him. He sinned and came short, many times, of what God would have expected and desired of him. God's grace and love for a sinner could not be any more significant than in the life of King David. David plotted evil against his neighbor and had him killed because of the adultery he committed against his wife, Bathsheba - but still, the Bible says, "David was a man after God's own heart."
When God doesn't answer our prayers, it's not that He doesn't hear them. He has a different time and way of answering our prayers. Indeed we should make our requests known to God, but are we coming to Him with a "to-do list?" Is our heart reserved and humbled to our Creator? Seeking a conversation and walk with Him, pouring our hearts out to him as a child would to his father? Or are our requests cold and demanding?
The answer is not always the fulfillment of our prayers but the journey with Christ during our prayers. The satisfaction of answered prayers often becomes meaningless when we grasp and understand the joy of intimacy with Christ Jesus during the time we spend with Him in prayer.
To the Director: A Davidic Psalm. How long? LORD, will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me? 2 How long must I struggle in my soul at night and have sorrow in my heart during the day? How long will my enemy rise up against me? 3 Look at me! Answer me, LORD, my God! Give light to my eyes! Otherwise, I will sleep in death; 4 Otherwise, my enemy will say, "I have overcome him;" Otherwise, my persecutor will rejoice when I am shaken. 5 As for me, I have trusted in your gracious love, my heart will rejoice in your deliverance. 6 I will sing to the LORD, for he has dealt bountifully with me.
Psalms 13:1-6
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