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Writer's pictureBenjamin Douwes

My Pastor and Friend!


After service fellowship, El Monte 2012
Pastor William and Helaene De Quilettes; after service fellowship, El Monte 2012

True friends are few and far between.


But, in all fairness, being a friend can be demanding, time-consuming, and a lot of work. Jesus defines what a true friend is in the Bible. Pointing out that a friend is sacrificial and does not think of themself but puts others first.


The Bible outlines the true meaning of a friend in John 15:12-17. A true friend is willing to lay down their life for another person. Jesus said it this way. “Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends” Jesus said this to His disciples, illustrating His love for them.


Last month I had a dear pastor and friend go home to see Jesus. The Lord took him home just a few weeks before his 91st birthday. I had known him for nearly 40 years. He was a student of the Word of God, a follower of Jesus, a husband to a faithful and God-fearing wife, a father, grandfather, and great-grandfather. He pastored and ministered with his wife for 65 years spanning the globe in different countries, from Indonesia, New Guinea, the Netherlands, Australia, and finally, at Bethel Church in El Monte, California.


New Guinea about 1960
Pastor William and Helaene de Quilettes. New Guinea about 1960

I had the privilege of serving beside him for the last 15 years before his stroke in 2017. He would drive with his wife 80 miles one way from his hometown in San Jacinto to El Monte three times a week. Eventually, they would reduce it to two times a week. They were faithful in serving and loving the Lord, well past retirement age. (he would say servants of the Master never retire)


I accepted Jesus in my life in 1983. He prayed with me when I accepted the Lord and he prayed for me during my water baptism. He traveled to my home countless times to visit my parents and stoked the flame in my newly converted heart.


When my father passed away in 1987, he presided over his funeral, and he and his wife, Lany, comforted my mom through her years of being a widow. In 2002 he presided over my mom's funeral and continued his prayers for my family.


He officiated my marriage in 2000. He dedicated my oldest daughter Phoebe to the Lord in 2002 and my second daughter Chloe in 2008. He was incredibly thoughtful and caring for my family.


My pastor and his wife treated my kids like their grandkids and treated my wife and me as their children. When we moved into our house in 2009, he checked the rooms, and windows, observing the neighbor's view of our home. He checked our cupboards and fridge (which they bought for us and had delivered to our house) to ensure we had enough food. He wanted to ensure we were safe, protected, and not short of provisions.


Pastor William and Helaene's wedding anniversary service. Bethel Church in El Monte, California.

He was a faithful employee and servant to the Lord. I say employee because he always said God is a good employer and will always provide for those who serve the Lord. As the church accountant, I can attest that the Lord provided for them miraculously.


When my pastor had his stroke in 2017, his wife Lany would also experience a stroke within a couple of months. So my wife and I would step in and pastor the church for the next three years - and this is when I experienced the words of my pastor. “God is a good employer.”


For those three years, God provided for my family, and I mean in every way imaginable. We did nothing to deserve God’s faithfulness. We only stood where God wanted us to stand - and He provided.


God’s provision reminds me of my pastor and friend. To the best of my ability, I tried to do everything needed to support my pastor. Because I knew he was the messenger of the Word of God. I don’t say this in idolizing my pastor, but what God’s Word says in 1 Timothy 5:17. Elders who rule well, especially those who deliver the Word of God, should receive double honor. My wife and I believed that the health and well-being of our pastor and his wife were essential for delivering the gospel.


They treated my family and me with the utmost respect, care, and love. They provided far more than we can repay. They did more for us than we ever did for them. No distance was too far, and no time was too early, too late, or too long. They gave in every way possible.


Pastor William doing what he loved - sharing the gospel.
Pastor William doing what he loved - sharing the gospel.

My pastor could no longer preach the word for the last five years of his life. His stroke would impair his memory and speech. As a result, conversations were short due to loss of memory. But this did not mean he wasn’t aware of what he was speaking. He continued to glorify God in witnessing for Christ.


I am eternally grateful to have a friend that laid his life down for me. He loved Jesus with all his body, soul, and spirit. As mentioned, he served the Lord for 65 years with his wife. They were inseparable in ministry and marriage. They were human and carried the same sin nature as we all do - but he is now free of the flesh that kept him from the presence of God.

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