There is a problem of epidemic proportions plaguing America, and that is fatherless homes. According to statistics, fathers don't leave because of laziness (though some do) but because of a lack of self-worth. A father's abandonment of family is more likely caused by physical and emotional trauma in early childhood and carried into adulthood.
“According to the U.S. Census Bureau, 18.4 million children, 1 in 4, live without a biological, step, or adoptive father in the home. That’s enough Children to fill New York City twice or Los Angeles four times over.” (The Statistics Don’t Lie: Fathers Matter)
Why do fathers abandon their families?
If we focus on one issue affecting fatherless homes, let's look at our prison system.
Based on the Federal Bureau of Prisons (last updated October 1, 2022), 93.1 percent of inmates are men, which amounts to 147,527 men incarcerated in our U.S. federal prisons. Women amount to 6.9 percent for a total of 10,996 inmates. The number one offense, which accounts for 45.2 percent of prison inmates, is drug-related, and most inmates are aged 31 - 41 years. Federal inmates represent only 158,523 of the 2 million held nationwide in our state, federal and local prisons.
Violent crime, drug use, and property theft are the three leading causes of incarceration among men, and an estimated 684,500 state and federal prisoners were parents in 2016. That is a staggering number of parents incarcerated, and many of these parents have more than one child.
There is no one answer to a problem that affects millions of fathers. Unemployment, poverty, crime, drugs, infidelity, and lack of confidence are a few of the many reasons. But more severe issues affect these men, specifically during childhood. In addition, many of these men have come from broken and fatherless homes and have not been role modeled by fathers or men.
What are the effects of fathers abandoning their families?
Single mothers are leading in the family, and not necessarily by choice. It is estimated that mothers head 80 percent of single-family homes; to put that in perspective, that's over 11 million single-mother families in America without a father living in the house.
Statistically, children raised without a father are more likely to live in poverty, use drugs and alcohol, and have behavior issues. In addition, girls are twice as likely to suffer from obesity and four times more likely to get pregnant without a father in the home.
This is not to say mothers are not doing a good job. In fact, single-family mothers are doing more than expected - they are also taking the role of a father.
Keeping fathers in the family
I have only touched the surface of the problems and symptoms of fatherless homes. The information provided and statistics are just that - information and statistics. They are not the solution, but they give us insight into some issues.
Is there a solution? Drugs and prisons will not disappear and will be an unwanted part of society. Crime, violence, domestic abuse, family trauma, and mental issues will only worsen and may find their way into the home - unless a father is there to defend and protect the family.
Fathers need to experience a sense of worth and value despite the past trauma and abuse many fathers have experienced.
Men need to be busy, and they need to build, repair or create something. Men need physical activities that will involve the family and their children. Fathers need work; they need a job to stay busy and have a sense of purpose and reason for living. An unproductive father will lead to idleness and potential vices that will draw him away from his family.
How our culture negatively affects fathers
We live in a culture that does not encourage heterosexual marriages between men and women. The nuclear family is frowned upon and no longer the norm and essence of moral good.
Latino families and Blacks specifically are being stigmatized with fatherless homes. Statistically, Black children are 64 percent more likely to live in a home without a father. To deepen the wound of this issue is, the Black Lives Matter movement - BLM promotes dismantling the nuclear family and virtually removing the father and husband role from the household.
There is hope
The Bible says it best in Ephesians 5:25. "Husbands love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave Himself for it."
Men are called to provide and protect and specifically for husbands and fathers. Throughout history, we read that men protected countries, cities, towns, citizens, and families from threats. Men would bear arms with swords or guns and fight when necessary, willing to lay their own lives for a cause greater than themselves. They found meaning and purpose in their lives and were willing to give it up for those they loved.
Our culture needs to change; fathers must be husbands to their wives and dads to their children. They need to be the men God designed them to be; willing to defend, willing to fight when necessary, and ready to abandon themselves for God and family.
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her. Ephesians 5:25
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