The date is December 2nd, 1922. The city is Sumenep and it’s located on the island of Madura, it's a province of Java and it is one of the many islands in Indonesia. That was the day and place my dad was born.
My dad’s childhood was much different than mine, and yet I think there were some similarities in our childhood. I didn’t grow up with Instagram, Twitter, YouTube, or Facebook, and I know for sure my dad didn't either. Growing up I was privileged to have a television in our home, but my dad was not so fortunate. As a kid growing up, fun was being outdoors and playing with your friends. That’s how my dad grew up and that’s how I grew up too.
As a kid, you dreaded being called home by your mom when it was getting late because you wanted to stay out later to play with your friends. That was me in Cucamonga, California as a kid and I am certain it was so with my dad in Indonesia. We spent our childhood on different sides of the world and nearly 50 years apart, but we were kids, just being kids.
I believe this is why my dad loved the outdoors and nature. After immigrating to America he was just in awe, of the mountains, deserts, oceans, lakes, and rivers in America. Even though my dad loved all the outdoors, he seemed to lean more toward the mountains. On the other hand, mom preferred the ocean, I think they found the middle ground along the Pacific Coast Highway in California, Oregon, and Washington State. As they got older it was no longer camping, but it was in hotels, this was much more enjoyable for mom and much easier with the grandkids.
I thank my dad for introducing us kids to the outdoors. As he taught us to hunt, fish, camp, and enjoy and respect the outdoors. Not sure if you would call it a tradition, but I continue with my siblings to enjoy the outdoors. To this day we continue to hunt and fish.
My dad passed away in 1987, doing what he loved, pig hunting! On this particular weekend, he was hunting near King City with my middle sibling Dave and many of our friends. It was in the morning hours overlooking a canyon where he died of a heart attack.
The death of our dad hit our family unexpectedly. We were grieved, we were in shock it was something none of us had experienced. It was a sad day for all of us. I had never seen my mom in such a state of mourning, she had been married to dad for 36 years and suddenly dad was not coming home. I can say this for sure, dad could have never been the dad he was, to us kids without mom. Mom and dad set the example for me as a husband to my wife and a father to my kids.
My dad was not perfect, but he did love God, mom, the kids, and his family. His example in marriage and prioritizing family before everything left a huge impact on my life. The core of these values was his faith in God. He brought us to church, he taught us to pray, and he taught us to sit at the dinner table and eat as a family, just as Jesus did with the disciples and strangers.
After I accepted Jesus in my heart and was baptized, I was invited to the Netherlands and the Philippines for bible study and missionary work. What was supposed to be a few months ended up being two years. I remember the evening after a church service, our pastor from Holland as well as my local pastor spoke with mom, dad, and me.
He laid out the details of my stay and what I'll be doing. I could see on mom's face that she was going to miss me, but I vividly remember my dad crying. He had gone through a lot in life, he wasn't sad, but he was happy and excited for me. He wanted me to learn and love everything about Jesus.
I was just 18 and I was going to spend the next two years learning about Jesus traveling to different countries and meeting people of different cultures and ethnicities. When dad was around my age or a bit older, he too traveled to different countries. Not on a missionary trip or for bible school, but as a POW. He would be confined to camp and hard labor in Japan for over 3 years. A different time and a different place.
Happy Father's Day Dad!
Love Benny
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